It is obvious that a project to nurture the nurturers needs the men on this Planet to take a major part.
How can we nurture men to develop more nurturance ?
If a man scores high on the ACE scale, and has some degree of Developmental Trauma, then psychotherapy and neurofeedback will be useful.
But what about the rest ? Here the issue is more of a “Peak Performance”one. Some suggestions.
- Babies are your best teachers. They are non-verbal, so you have to relate to them with your Right brain…….gestures, prosody, entunement, empathy, loving kindness.
- Meditation will be of some use. Concentration meditation helps develop mindfulness….but it is not enough…Pol Pot was a great meditator. Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta, compassion) needs to be included. Dan Siegel would also include a thing he calls integration, the capacity to use mindfulness and empathy in an inter-relational way.
- Reflective listening skills………Carl Rogers, 50 years ago, knew that tuning in to the the person through reflective listening was much more useful than all the interpretation/ advice giving/clever responses. It gives the other person a sense of being caringly reflected, so that they can process their own internal state more fully.
- Neurofeedback. Here the paradigm is one of “Peak Performance”. We are developing protocols which enhance people’s entunement and empathy skills.
As the males of the species develop more and more “nurturing the nurturers “skills, it becomes easier for the primary carers, usually the women, to do their nurturance more effectively. The babies benefit, the Planet benefits.